ONE thing that is paramount in ensuring a peaceful marriage if couples will enjoy their lives together, is to have an understanding of the ways of a man and a woman, and make allowance for living together under such an atmosphere. What I am saying here is that couples need to know that there is a way that is generally peculiar to a man and a woman, which when understood, makes living together as couples a lot easier, despite our differences. One will not be surprised if one’s spouse does certain things, or manifests certain behavioural pattern. After all, what do you expect? It’s common with men and women. So, instead of seeing it as something peculiar to your spouse, you already know that is the way he or she is expected to behave. Thus, it is easier to live with it. Or do you quarrel with a fish swimming?
I remember a man who had issues with his wife, and went for counseling with a marriage male counselor. He discovered that virtually everything he accused his wife of, was similar to the counselor’s experience with his wife. Let us look at some sure banker’s acts of a man and a woman.
A woman enjoys talking, and thus she will usually nag. Does your wife nag? Don’t be surprised, or ger angry with her. Rather, device means of enduring her, persuading and managing her. What you most men don’t understand about the nagging thing about your wife is that it comes out of something natural about her makeup- talking; conversing; speaking. I am stating it in different ways in order not to send a wrong signal that women are talkative. Rather, I am saying here that a woman enjoys talking or speaking about, or sharing, her inner desires, especially with her husband. So, she keeps talking about her passion all of the time without getting tired of doing so. A husband who knows the talking pattern of a woman, will therefore not find fault with his wife over such behavior. Rather, he will device means of getting along with her when she starts talking. Like a man put it sometime ago. You don’t have to respond, but just listen to her. That is primarily what she desires.
A woman loves attention. That your wife is always seeking for your attention should not be something that puts you off. It is normal and expected of a woman. That is why anyone who gives a woman attention will be able to give her direction. If you are in doubt, ask the biblical Adam. Or why do you think Eve ate the forbidden fruit? Giving your wife undivided attention is a means of maintaining peace in the marriage. These include: listening to her; commenting on her looks regularly; noticing a shift in her mood among others. Any husband doing these for his wife is on the right part of peace maintenance in the home.
A woman wants practical love. A woman does not just want to be loved, but to be shown that she is loved. A woman must be constantly shown that she is not just loved, but loved real good and dearly. It is not just enough to provide for her needs, but to treat her specially always. She takes such special treatment as an act of love. So, you must regularly affirm your love to your wife in so many ways such as drumming it into her ears, buying her gifts from time to time (however little). Your caring about all things that concern her is a practical way of proving your love to her.
For a man, his most important and greatest need is respect. If you will show great respect to your husband, then peace is guaranteed in the marriage, at least from his own angle. Most of a wife‘s behavior towards her husband is viewed from the point of respect by him. So, a wife must ensure that she does not joke with respect for her husband. A wife needs to know that respect for him fuels his ego, and when it is absent may become a serious issue of discord in the marriage. So, every wife should cultivate ways of regularly showing not only that she respects him, but also how much she does respect him. Some pointers to how you respect him include how you address him, especially in the public, the way you present or represent him to others, how you relate to his people.
When husbands and wives understand this general pattern of behavior about men and women, it will reduce friction in the home, and fuel the fire of peace in the marriage.