Written by Freelancing Writer and Editor : Olayinka Sodiq
- LET SOME CONFLICTS GO UNRESOLVED
When it comes to an understanding of what makes long-term relationships succeed, communication is imperative; communicating and resolving all problems is a myth. According to research, happily married couples have consistent unresolved issues, issues they’ve sometimes been fighting about for decades; meanwhile, unsuccessful couples focus on resolving everything because they believe there should be no disagreement between them. People often fantasize about true love; if true love does exist, then it requires us to accept things we do not like. Every successful couple understands and accepts that some conflicts are unsolvable and inevitable; there will always be things you do not like about your partner or things they do not agree with, which is perfectly fine. You do not need to change people in a bid to love them. Trying to resolve all conflicts sometimes create an additional problem than it fixes, you cannot fight every battle; instead, adopt the approach of “live and let’s live.”
- BE WILLING TO HURT EACH OTHER’S FEELINGS
Men are naturally in the situation of always wanting to make their girlfriends/wives happy, which should not be so. Why? Relationships are important than feeling good every time. Bruise each other’s ego, call each other out on bullshits, a few hours later, there would be a good level of understanding on how to make each other a better person even though you hate hearing it all the time. It is important to make something else more important in a relationship than making each other happy every time if the priority is to make each other feel good always, then nobody ends up feeling good.
- BEING WILLING TO END IT
Our culture has idealized Romantic sacrifice, our standards for what a successful relationship should be are screwed up, if someone is not dead and the relationship ends, we view that as a failure regardless of the practical and emotional circumstances present in the person’s life which I think is insane. Romeo and Juliet were originally written to represent everything that’s not right with young love and how romantic beliefs can make you act stupid like drinking poison because the bride’s parent does not like the groom yet somehow we see this as a romantic story. This kind of crazy idealization leads people to keep up with negligent and abusive partners, to perpetuate misery, suppress their pain, lose their identities and suffer in the name of retaining a relationship “until death do us part.”
- SPENDING TIME APART AND ACCEPT YOUR PARTNER’S FLAWS
Falling in love, we tend to develop irrational desires and beliefs. We get consumed by the person we love, this feels great but at the same tie intoxicating. We tend to lose our identity and change to be closer to the person we love; you stop being the person that person fell in love with in the first place. It is very important to distance yourself from your partner occasionally, maintain your hobbies, keep separate friends and assert your independence, take occasional trips somewhere by yourself, do not forget what made you-you your partner fell for, you need the oxygen to breathe. You need to accept and even adore your partner flaws, their awkward social tricks, obsessive cleanliness, that is a clear sign of true intimacy, that way anything can work out. Our perfection may attract us to each other, but our imperfections decide whether we stay together or not.
This presentation is protected by the U.S. and international copyright laws, Reproduction or distribution of this presentation without written permission of the sponsor is Highly Prohibited.